Tuesday, September 1, 2015

September 2, 1981 marks the anniversary of the day you left us for Heaven's Realm.  It has been over thirty years yet it feels like yesterday. Noelle, you are missed. I feel your presence still and know you are watching over your family, including the nephews and nieces you did not live to see. Yet, you spoke to most of them or appeared to them when they were toddlers and kept watch over them all. You came to your father as he lay trying to sleep while I was dying in the hospital of massive heart attacks. You smiled that smile only you possess, and gave him the thumbs up. He knew then that I would live--and I have for 19 more years.

The best gift you could have given us was having your oldest sister, Kimber. deliver her first child on the day you passed on, two years later. How horrified we all were at first. I remember that Kimber sobbed. Soon we realized what a wonderful gift it was and how special. For now we celebrate the birthday of your nephew, Ian, instead of mourning your loss. That's the way you would have wanted it. Still. we all think of you around this time each year, not realizing why until we remember that terrible time when all the laughter, love and music you wove into the fabric of our lives---stopped.

Noelle, you remain in our hearts and the hearts of all who loved you this day and every day until the day we meet again. Perhaps for you it is just a blink of an eye--for us, a lifetime.

What Manner of Woman 
What manner of woman would you have become
Child of mine, love of my life
Would you have been the beauty that shone
Through the throes of puberty
Retaining a lively wit and comic antics
Long since lost, yet still mourned
Would your quick intelligent mind
Grow ever brighter, tempered by maturity,
Enhancing both beauty and ardor
for those who loved you
What manner of man would you have chosen to love
Who would have loved you in return
Would your children be so fortunate
To be as you were, so nearly perfect
Full of life, intensity and naive trust
What manner of woman would you have become
Child of mine, love of my life
As the scars on my soul fade slowly
But refuse to fully heal
I can only wonder

As I watch a bird soar in flight
I yearn for you
Each star that twinkles in the night
Reminds me of you
The setting sun in shimmering hues
Reminds me of you
Tiny flowers spring from their beds
In memory of you
Each new born thing and budding leaves
Is life renewed
Your spirit flits with the fireflies
And makes me smile
Reminding me that no one dies
And I cry a while
As long as the sun remembers to rise
You are alive
Each night the moon is in its skies
You haven't died




  1. My Dear, Dear, Friend,
    I feel your lost even though, I don't have children. But I see the legacy that Noelle has left behind for all of you to walk in. The gift that she has given everyone in your family, and that is the gift to love and care with a pure heart.
    Having read your book, And The Whippoorwill Sang, I can only say that she was an astonishing child, a giver of life. And she still gives you all life and hope. There is no doubt that in my mind that life doesn't end here on this earth. Therefore, one day, you will see her again and the pain that you are feeling now will be as a shadow passing by.
    I love you, Micki.

  2. Dear Micki, This is just beautiful, as your sweet Noelle was! Your loss was heaven's gain. As it says in Psalm 30:5b, Voice, "The deepest pains may linger through the night, but joy greets the soul with the smile of morning." Ian's birth was beauty from ashes as the Bible says. Through all our heartache and heartbreak, God is forever faithful and kind. You will be welcomed by your sweet daughter when it's time to meet your Savior face to face! What a joyous reunion there will be! I loved your book and I love this post. Her memory will live on forever in the hearts of those that knew her and those that read your book. God bless you on this bittersweet anniversary, and Happy Birthday Ian!!! Love always, Deirdre

  3. Dear Micki, what an amazing tribute to your daughter. I can feel your pain through your writing, and still you seem to be happy she was part of your life. What you wrote reminds me of that little poem I read somewhere:
    If tears could build a stairway
    and memories a lane,
    I'd walk right up to heaven
    and bring you home again.

    My thoughts are with you, Micki! Love you.

  4. Noelle,

    I will always remember our time together. Please know you are missed, and loved. You will forever be in my heart.

    I hope you are enjoying the "yeggs"

  5. Dear pat,

    Thank you for your kind words, as always, my good friend. You always know just the right thing to say. I just found out today that my niece who lost her only sister two years ago just gave birth to her third child--on September 2nd--another gift from Noelle? I think so.

    Love Micki

  6. Thanks, AJ,
    You are right, of course. I wouldn't have it any other way. I love that poem piece too. Thanks for your kind words and most of all for your loving friendship.



  7. Dear Deirdre,
    As always, your words soothe and uplift my heart. You are right in all you say. If it had to happen, at least I've been blessed with so many miracles sent by her and/or our Heavenly Father. otherwise, I don't think I could have made the journey through grief and survived it.

    Love always,


  8. Dear Chuck,

    I have to agree with Kelly--that Noelle was so lucky to have found a young man(then) to have fallen in love with. I know she knows what a great man you've become and watches over you and those you love. Thanks for posting on this day.

    Love, Micki